Tag's new friend!

Tag had a little run in with the dumpster at school yesterday.  He's been having a rough time in the mornings and this is one of those mornings that I should have stayed to try and help corral him.  I feel so bad for him but everyone at school was so good with him.  I'm so grateful for all the people there who really care about him.  Beaver Dam is the BEST!!!!  I took him into the doctor and she said she was surprised he didn't pass out, but it doesn't look like he did anything more than give himself a nice big goose egg and in the days to come, a black eye!  Poor kid):

Tag turns 8

Taggert is 8 and it is so hard to believe!  He is now wearing 5T shirts and 4T pants.  He is the smallest in his class at school but he loves school so much.  He's got a great teacher and a great class that work so well with him.  It's such a relief sending him off to school and knowing he is in good hands.  We finally got his fast heart rates under control last fall when he had a little procedure that zapped the bad node on his heart.  He has been healthy and hospital free since then!  We love him so much and are so grateful that he's made it to this huge milestone!  Happy Birthday Taggy Wag and many more to come!

Turning 8 means Scouts!!!

Just hanging out with his cake.

He got a Mater bowl and spoon and cereal.  He could hardly wait
to open it and use it!

He got his very own set of scriptures with his
name on them!

Tag gets Baptized!

yeah, I was pregnant when Tanner was baptized, too!
Hopefully that pattern doesn't continue with the girls(:

It is so hard to believe this kid is eight!  I've thought back on his first years and wondered how we survived all the specialists and procedures, but he is eight and healthy and I love it!  He was so excited to be baptized, just look at his face!  He is an amazing little man and I love him so much.

So handsome!

 I am so glad that so many of my family members were able to come.  They all mean so much to me.  I miss being closer to them but it is amazing how the cousins just jump right in just like they see each other all the time.  I want them to be closer than I was to my cousins because family is all you got!

All of the cousins that came, except Whit.  She was being
a stinker):

Tag and Nathan will always be good buddies!

Larry and Steve, my brothers, and they let them carry guns!

Save A Sister

Me and my girls had a busy day on Saturday.  We were up at 7 AM and on our way to St. George for the breast cancer walk called "Save a Sister"  I've already lost one so I was all for trying to save the rest of them.  And thanks to Richa for telling me about it!  It was an emotional morning for me.  I was glad to be with my girls and I'm glad I was pushing the stroller so they couldn't see me crying.  I don't know why I do this to myself.  I can keep it together most of the time, but when I get around all these women who are wearing their pink survivors shirts, it just reminds me that my mom and my sister didn't survive.  I hate cancer!!!  I hate what it does to families.  I hate that my nephews grew up at such a young age without their mom, and now they are experiencing the best days of their life without her.  I know that people say they are always with us in spirit, but quite honestly, that just doesn't cut it.  I am a firm believer in the resurrection.  I know I will see my mom and my sister again, but I am so selfish because I wish I could see them now!  I wish my mom had been around for my wedding and all my babies being born.  I know she would have come and stayed with me those first few trying weeks and taken such good care of me.  We could have sat and talked for hours.  We could have scrapbooked together and done some geneology.  I just really hate breast cancer.  And I am kind of mad at my sister because I didn't know she was as sick as she was.  She was so good at putting on a happy face.  She didn't want people to know how bad it was.   I didn't see her at Christmas that year but we were going up for New Year's.  I got the call the day before we were headed to Idaho and I couldn't believe it.  I just said, "No!  I'm coming, I was coming" but I was too late.  I never got to say goodbye.  I'm not really mad at her.  The signs were all there, I just chose not to see them.  So I guess I'm really mad at myself for not being there at Christmas.  Anyway, I think you get the point that I am not very fond of cancer.  We have a Hate-Hate relationship.

So I guess if I can get up a little early on a Saturday and walk to try and help find a cure, I'll do it!  And I will keep doing it because cancer isn't going to win this fight!

My reaction to the KSL story

The story this week on KSL about my husbands sisters being kicked out of the resturaunt and some of the comments that we given have left me with some feelings that I didn't know I was harboring.  So as in the words of Stephanie Nelson, "This is my blog and I can say what I want!"  So here goes!

Life is so rough!

 I think there is a huge lack of understanding for disabled people and their caretakers.  We are so judgemental of people!  And we say stupid things like..."if that were my kid" or "why aren't they doing anything?"  Well, as the parent of a child with special needs, I can guarantee you that I am aware of my sons behaviors!  I am fully aware that he does some annoying things for no reason at all!  I am aware of the disapproving glances that I get because I can't control my child and better yet I am aware of what you are thinking when I don't disipline him the way you think he needs to be disiplined.  There are days that Tag could be in time out all day, or I could be spanking him every half hour, but the behavior still persists.  It wears me out some days.  I hate the look he gives me when he knows he's in trouble.  It is so sad...but I also hate the look on my little girl's faces when their big brother is hitting them relentlessly.  There just seems to be no ryhme or reason to his hitting.  He can be playing really good one minute and it's almost as if he realizes that he is playing good so he feels the urge to hit something or scream just to break the silence.  Our house can be crazy sometimes, but I love my Taggert Johnny boy!!!!

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Playing in the water with Brinley.

This is rare, but I know they love each other(:

He really looks up to Nathan.

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He loves Mater and Lightning

  When he was born, there were some problems.  Dr. Nygaard, who was on-call, told us his heart was enlarged and that we would need to see a specialist.  I was so scared but then two days later, his regular pediatrician sent us home.  He had been on oxygen and he was not able to nurse but they sent us home.  At home I was still nervous for him but tried to act normal.  Within weeks, he started to have these really weird episodes where his heart would just race.  I told the Dr.  He put Tag on a steroid.  They kept happening until one day when he was having one, we raced to the Dr. office.  He listened to him and sent us straight to the ER.  I was scared but I thought that finally we could get him some help.  Dr Nygaard was on-call again, and I consider this no coincedence.  He ran every test he could think of, even a spinal tap, but it was the x-ray that showed that his heart was still enlarged.  Within an hour we were on a medical plane to Phoenix.  Once in Phoenix, they were doing tests too, trying to figure out what was going on.  It took them a whole week!  The Dr's came in and told us that Tag has several things wrong with his heart, most very minor, but because there were so many they wanted to do a genetic test.  We knew it was a possibility that we could have a child like Trent's sisters because Trent is a carrier, but honestly I thought we were there to fix his heart and we could get on with our lives, normally.  So when the geneticist told me that Tag did indeed have partial trisomy 18, I was shocked!  I cried!  Trent and I both did.  I don't know if every parent of a special needs child has a defining moment but I surely did.  When the results of the genetic test came back, the cardiologists came in and asked us what we wanted to do.  I was flabbergasted!  I was thinking, "What do you mean, what do WE want to do?"  They didn't come in and say this is what we think needs to happen now.  Because he wasn't "normal"  they asked us what we wanted to do.  I guess there are parents who would have said, "let's just make him comfortable because he's not going to grow up and be anything.  He's going to be alot of work and quite honestly a burden."  But I literally stood up from my sitting position and told those doctors in a very firm voice that we were going to do the surgery that my son was not completely incompacitated.  That he would be able to run and play and we wanted to do all we could for him!.

 I don't know how many parents of a "normal" child with a heart condition that would have to almost demand that the doctors do their job.  There would be no question.  This is the problem and this is what we need to do to fix it.  So why is it that there was a question with my child?  Why is it that because my son was going to be handidcapped that he was considered not worth saving?    I didn't know it in that hospital that day that that was the beginning of a war for Taggert's life!

 It is heartbreaking for a mother to watch how people, even those who you would hope would treat him the best, brush him aside, ignore him,or look at him with that look that says why are you even here.  I've seen it and there is a part of me that thinks he sees it too.  It's very difficult, but I have also seen the very opposite and it makes my heart soar.  He has this wonderful teacher at school who doesn't consider him less.  She actually believes that her life is better because she has had the opportunity to be his teacher, and she thinks that the other kids in his class are also blessed because of him.   His current pediatrician is that way, too, although his first one was not.  Tag's first pediatrician actually told me that my son was never going to get better. 

So, I guess, I not only have to be patient with Tag, but I have to be patient with everyone who comes in contact with him who doesn't understand that he is a special child of GOD.  I can't make people see Tag for who he really is anymore than I can make Tag behave perfectly at a resturaunt.  So, what's a mother to do?  Just the best I can every day, asking for guidance from my Heavenly Father and then asking for forgiveness when I get it wrong.  But this just doesn't pertain to my handicapped child.  All my children are different and they all need something different from me.  I know that with the help of my Heavenly Father that I can be the mother they all need me to be.  Motherhood is hard, the hardest thing I've ever done, but when you look at things with eternity as your goal, you realize that this life on earth is really so very short.  It's too short to hold a grudge against the resturaunt manager or the other patrons at the resturaunt.  Not everyone believes as I do but I know that I can be more like the Savior by treating other people as he would:  forgiving them because "they know not what they do".

There is something special about my Tag. He has a lot of love to give. I love it when we are alone and he will just start talking to me in full sentences! And I love, love, love to hear him say, "I love ya, mom" He didn't say I love you for the longest time and I was worried that he never would, but it makes me so happy to hear it, finally!

Bundy Reunion

Tanner running in the races.

He won first place!

Tag running.  He's fast but littler than all the rest.

We decided to go to the Bundy Reunion this year because we haven't been since Tag was two!  The kids had a great time!  Tag found a new girlfriend and Whitley made friends with a cousin.  They loved the dance and even got Grandma and Grandpa Reber to join us!  I was trying to teach Tanner to swing and he thought I was crazy, but it was fun!

Tag starting off.  He was excited.

Dancing with Brin was fun because she's so light.

Grandpa with Whitley, so cute!

Whitley and her cousin Becca.

Grandma and Tag.

Tanner and Brin, she always had a partner.

Pine cone ridge, where you throw it off and it comes back to you.

Becca and Brin are friends, too!

Becca and Whit sharing the princess chair.  They were actually pointing out the princesses who were not wearing modest dresses.  I thought that was pretty impressive for a 3 and 4 year old!

Computers back and now a re-cap

We didn't do much this summer but we did get away to Lake Powell for a few days and it was a blast.  We are only about 2 and a half hours away so it is definetly going to become a summer tradition!  Tanner is quite the swimmer.  He was able to get up on the wake board and out of the wake.  Tag is not a water boy.  We did get him in the tube, but he cried the whole time so it was a short ride.  Even when we had lunch on the beach and just played in the water, he sat up in the sand eating grapes, silly kid.  Whitley was a little timid.  She never did get out on the tube, but at least she would play in the water when we stopped.  Brinley is a water baby.  I was afraid she was going to jump right out of the boat as we were cruising.  She didn't like the tube but we had a hard time keeping her in the shallow part.

Trent was showing off and doing 360's!

Tanner out of the wake on the wake board.  He was awesome!

This was rainbow bridge.  The guide said you coud fit the statue of liberty inderneath the arch.

Trent let me drive!  I felt cool!

Tag really enjoyed being on the boat.